she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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