there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
