A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
