Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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