woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I die, sorry about rent.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
