so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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