you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
