I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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