If i come over, it means nothing
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
