Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
