whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
