I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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