I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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