My liver just broke up with me...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
it was like eating out sand paper
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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