ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
