i always forget guys have bellybuttons
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
