So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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