she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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