I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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