first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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