for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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