I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
