Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
