I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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