You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
