Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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