Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
