glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
