My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
