He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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