so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
