There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
