what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
