I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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