Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
