I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
