I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
