Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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