Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
