if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
