Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
