Kiss
Puke
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
