I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
