Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
