she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
