My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
