I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
