i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
