He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
