He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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