ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
