I am puke
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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