Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
