i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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