are you so shy because you have an std?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Drunk is a universal language darling
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
